FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out, is the 21st century equivalent of Keeping up with the Jones’. We have all done it – you see your friends, acquaintances and family members doing cool things and posting about it on social media and then you feel like you’re getting nowhere in life. For many people, it’s acute enough to play havoc on their mental health.
FOMO doesn’t just interfere with our personal lives; it can also interfere with our professional ones. Does any of this sound familiar?
- Applying for all jobs that even vaguely fit you because you don’t want to miss out on an opportunity?
- At work, do you sign up for every class, webinar, networking event just in case it means your big break?
- Do you say yes to every project or job that comes your way, so you don’t miss out?
- Do you feel left out when you aren’t consulted on a decision?
- Do you constantly compare yourself to others and feel like you’re lacking?
You may have career FOMO then, and just like personal FOMO, it’s probably wrecking havoc on you, both mentally and career wise. So instead of chasing after every last thing like a deranged chicken chasing grasshoppers, take a step back, and let’s consider why you should be more selective in what you chase down.
“He Who Chases Two Hares Catches Neither”
There are probably other versions of this proverb, but what it boils down to is the fact that if you go after a bunch of things all at once, you probably won’t get anywhere. This is particularly relevant in job search where many people try to chase all the opportunities that they think they might be suitable for instead of going after the ones they are particularly suited for (And will enjoy).
But companies don’t hire for broad experience. No one cares that I took a photography class once ten years ago (except my close friends and family who appreciate that I can take a half decent picture on my phone). Sure, I can take a photo for my workplace and post it on social media (and do), but I can hardly make a living off that because I don’t have the experience, creativity, or tools. I can apply for jobs that require photography, but it would be silly to.
We all have skills, knowledge, and experience from a broad range of things we have done in our lives, but many of them probably won’t be relevant to our professional lives. I can take pictures, bake a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies, and organize a family trip like a boss, but none of those are skills that I could take to an employer and say, ‘hire me please’. Instead, I would do better to focus and target my resumes towards what I a) have plenty of experience in doing and b) enjoy doing. (For me, that would be writing, research, creative problem solving, and Microsoft training).
Companies hire people who can solve specific problems that they are having. So, *I* could solve the problem of designing training programs or teaching Word. But my ability to bake cookies isn’t going to solve problems. (Well, maybe staff hunger, but that’s not something most companies care about).
What does this mean to you? (Other than I may have made you hungry?) You must look at which problems you want to solve, and which companies are looking to solve them. In other words, you want to target your job search to what you can do, enjoy doing, and what companies in that field are looking for. This is not limiting your opportunities; it’s making the most of what you have to offer others.
Imposter Syndrome and FOMO
Why do many people have job FOMO? Well, part of it is a fear of missing out on opportunities because they worry that if they limit their job search to specific niches, they will miss out on the Opportunity of a Lifetime elsewhere, but the other side of the coin is imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is when we feel like we are not qualified for a job we have and that we will be found out and punished in some way for it. Imposter syndrome is particularly prevalent among high power women, but it can be spotted everywhere, and it contributes to FOMO and freezing up on job searches or asking for a promotion. It’s where you think about going for that job which looks perfect, but then your brain tells you that you don’t fit in after all and that even if they did hire you, they’d quickly find you out as a fraud.
Imposter syndrome also drives a lot of people to constantly feel like they need to prove they can do the job, by taking on more responsibilities and projects, by attending every event possible, and by taking on every work opportunity. This usually leads to burn out, exhaustion, and stress. In other words, you’re chasing every rabbit, but are too exhausted to actually catch any of them.
News flash: if you go hired for a job, the hiring person clearly thought you were a good fit. Go with their opinion for a while and see if you feel better!
What to Do about Job FOMO
To a lesser or greater extent, most of us have been hit with the job FOMO. We feel that twinge when a friend announces their great new job on social media or when we are idly job searching. It’s what MLM’s thrive on – that we worry about missing out on the next great opportunity! So what can we do about it so we aren’t constantly chasing that ‘missed opportunity’?
- Reality check time! When you’re using social media, do you post every mediocre thing that happens to you? No! It’s either the great or the terrible. Well, everyone else does that too! So keep in mind that when you see people on social media, you are seeing one tiny snippet of their lives, not the whole picture. You don’t know what they did to get that job, how hard they worked for that trip, or what led up to that promotion. And you are only seeing one moment out of countless moments. Don’t compare your entire life to someone else’s day!
- You can’t do it all. There are only twenty-four hours in a day and given that at least some of those hours need to be dedicated to eating and sleeping (at bare minimum), it’s impossible to do everything. So, some stuff you will not be able to do. You need to prioritize what you want to do and must do and leave the rest alone. And that includes prioritizing your time to take for yourself! Good employees are employees who have a life outside of work.
- Get information! If you don’t know why you were passed up for an interview, or whether a conference is worth attending, or what another job or industry is like, do your research and find out what you can. Ask questions, do an informal informational interview, ask your manager what more you could learn or do on the job, etc. Don’t just stew in envy – be proactive and figure out if something is worth your time or not. That amazing job, promotion or event may not be as shiny as it looked, once you learn more about it.
- Be crystal clear on what you want. The more targeted you in your job search, promotions, and learning opportunities, the easier it will be to ignore everything else and get what you actually want. Don’t be afraid to go for things that are going to work for you, on every level, not just one or two. All the prestige in the world won’t do you much good if you’re miserable.
There is no point in constantly comparing yourself to others or always racing around trying to have it all. You’ll burn out, get exhausted and frustrated, and end up doing less even while spending more time doing it. Instead, rein yourself in. Remind yourself that you are comparing your entire life to another person’s moment and figure out what you want and need from your career. Get laser focused, instead of chasing every possible lead down. You’ll feel less exhausted and more passionate about what you’re doing – which any employer will appreciate.
Have you ever had Job/Opportunity FOMO? What did you do about it? Sound off on our Facebook page!
